Explanations

Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted for so long!

This summer's really been a washout for me. I haven't been well - I got some kind of virus which just wiped me out and I still don't feel like my usual self.

As a result I haven't made many jewellery pieces and I've essentially had to give up my day job, so I guess I've reached a point where I need to make some decisions.

It's getting more and more clear to me that I'll probably never be able to have a "real" job or a career. I always wanted to be a researcher but I can't see myself being able to study for a PhD and working 9-5, it's just not realistic when you have so many days when you just can't do very much.

I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself. I'm going to be positive. I can keep making jewellery and hopefully sell enough to help financially, I can do one-off volunteering projects (like teaching African songs to schoolkids as I did last year).

And I can also start studying with Open University. Not necessarily to finish my psychology degree (although I could do that), but simply because I want to learn and prove to myself that with the right support and flexibility I can study at that level. I'm starting with a second-year course in music in February.

A chat with a friend of mine the other day reminded me that I have already done a lot of worthwhile things and even if my life isn't coventionally successful (the usual job, money, kids, etc) I'm still not a failure.

But it annoys me that I can't reach my potential because of some stupid illness.

Still. Onwards and upwards.